Generally, when we see someone change and convert to Jesus, there is some sort of lead up. An inner turmoil where the person is in constant battle with themselves, the battle they face in the hall.
Saul was different. He was actually on the road with papers from the high priest saying that he had the right to capture all men and women of Jesus’s following. He had no inner fight, his demons had won his convictions long ago, but they weren’t stronger than the living God, and He had a purpose for Saul.
Saul was a man who had let his dark side win. He was a killer. He was evil in many ways. But God.
Acts 9:1-9
Author: carriedinthecross
I am a young woman who grew up in British Columbia. In BC was all I ever wanted; I had my poodle (Max) and all my friends, Saturdays at the Vancouver Aquarium and Sunday afternoons at one of my favorite beaches it was paradise. But God had a different plan for my life and my dad's job landed us in Alberta and now where I remain, in small town Souris Manitoba. The transitions from paradise to prairie were difficult and I will admit that now 10 years later I still refer to home as Abbotsford BC. Through this crazy pathway trek across Canada I have had one true constant, God; and though none of it was easy, everything that has happened in my life has formed in me a true lasting friendship with the one I call Immanuel. Because no matter how far from home we are God is with us, and thanks to God I have found an almost completely over looked beauty in Manitoba. If you open your eyes you will see that God has planted wondrous things everywhere you go.
Jeremiah 3:10
In spite all of this, her unfaithful, sister, Judah did not return to me with all her heart, but only in pretense declares the Lord.
When Israel was offending God by running off and taking on the worship of false idols, God gave her lots and lots of chances to repent, but then he mentions in Jeremiah 3:10, that even after He punished Israel for what she did Judah went and did the same thing. They also worshiped false idols.
However, that is not what I am stuck on in this verse.
God covers how when the nation of Judah repented before God, it was only in word, a pretence, a facade if you will.
How often do we repent and fully plan on doing what we did wrong the first time again?
We say ‘I’m sorry Jesus.’ Just to have the verse about God removing our sin whenever we ask come into play. We aren’t really sorry. We dobt really care. Like a child who apologizes because he’s told to, not because he’s sorry. How often is that us?
God isn’t dumb. He knows when you are honest and when you are not.
How things come down in the end I do not know. How God will sort the sins we repent for and the ones we don’t in the last days is up to Him.
But setting that aside. Don’t we want to love Him enough to truly serve Him? To truly be sorry when we mess up? To try and change?
Isn’t He worthy of that!
The battle in the hall
The real battle, he fought alone, in the hall before the great door and the monster within. – The Hobbit
We often feel like our times of fighting with ourselves and forcing ourselves forward to do things that terrify us is not the true battle. In fact, we look on it as weakness. Yet, it is often in the hallways before the interview, before the operation, before the exam, before whatever is facing you, that is where we fought the true battle. The greatest battle to overcome, because we are fighting ourselves.
In a way, we are all members of Fight Club. We are all fighters against the enemy of our own thoughts and actions. For every time God tells you to do something, the devil tells you not to, and vice-versa. If God tells you to invite your friend to church, the devil will tell you not to. If God tells you not to go to that party, the devil will tell you you should.
You always fight your biggest battles, but yourself, in the hall.
Except one thing. You aren’t by yourself. Jesus fights with you. When the devil gets in your head, Jesus is right there attacking his defenses and stopping him from making strongholds.
Jesus is your only true defense.
Don’t let the battle of the hall hold you back from the path and the future God has set before you.
Still in the boat?
Peter was the only one to get out of the boat.
Everyone always criticizes Peter for losing faith and sinking. How many of us have walked on water? Even for a second? None of us? Exactly.
Peter looked down and was afraid. But at least he wasn’t still in the boat.
We all say we want to walk where Jesus leads, and we mock those who fail. But how many of us have actually tried to follow Him? If you are trying to follow Him, you will fail almost every day. Its the ones who don’t try who look they are always succeeding. It’s a scam. No effort means no failure and gives a false illusion of success. But only those who try fail. Only those who fail come back and try again after learning from their mistakes.
Are you still in the boat?
Some days
Some days, it hurts. Some days you wonder why you are there and how you even got there. Some days, it feels like everyone is after you and not in a good way. But God.
It’s like climbing through a thick cloud. You can’t see where you are going, but you keep going, and then finally, you see the light at the top. That’s what it’s like to turn your eyes upon Jesus. He will show that you are okay because of Him. He will give you great friends. He will give you great family. He Himself will be your support team.
You have wounds. But you are not defined by them. You are strong despite them and because of them, but they are not who you are.
Jesus cried tears of blood for a people He loved, in a place He did not want to be, about to do something He did not want to do. But He did it anyway.
He lives inside of us. His strength to carry on through the impossible is with us. He is our God.
Even when you feel like a tree who has had her bark wounded by a deer, stripped and torn but not so deep it will die, Jesus sees you. He hasn’t let you go or left you. He will get you through this.
Trust Him!
Mist and light
Have you ever noticed the mist?
I mean really noticed it.
It’s beautiful. It changes everything so that scenes you have seen all your life, sudden you don’t recognize. But that’s also why it can be so dangerous.
If you don’t recognize where you are you can get lost. Or fall and get hurt. Or drive the wrong way.
Sin is like that. It can look so beautiful that we crave it. But then it makes everything you once knew was right and true look blurry. Suddenly you no longer know where you are or how you got there. You’re lost. But the Light of the world comes and burns back the mist showing you your way home.
If you’re lost right now, talk to Jesus and let His light terrify the dark.
Insects
Insects
Today, as I was walking, I had an unpleasant insect land on me. I flicked it off and shuddered, and kept walking. Then, two butterflies flew past me. The bees and the butterflies, the dragonflies and the lady bugs. Such insects are why I don’t spray pesticides. Though the mosquitoes and black flies are a constant problem and make me regret my choice some days.
In this tiny way, I understand a little more about God when He he is speaking with His men of Faith in the Bible and saying, “For your sake I do not.” For the sake of the Righteous God did not destroy humanity (a second time) for the sake of His people He stayed His hand. Then, for the sake of those He loved (us), He sent His Son to die so we could be saved.
In saving the butterflies, I am also sparing the mosquitoes. But unlike mosquitoes, when God, in sparing the Righteous, spares the sinners as well, He is also giving them another chance to change. A mosquito will always be what it is, but when God’s people pray for God to spare the country or town they live in despite it’s evil, God is also giving the evil a chance to change and to find Him. He wants all people to turn to Him and will give them chances again and again and again. That’s love.
Basketball
When I was a teen, I was scouted by our school’s basketball coach to play for the team. I chose not to because of driving distance from my house, but the fact that it happened always stayed with me. Why? Because in elementary school, when they first taught us basketball, it broke me. I was terrible. (When I think on it, getting a grade for PE should not have happened. Because for every sport someone is good at, there are three or four they can’t do at all.) My dad was the difference. I came home in tears after our teacher had told me off for being so bad at dribbling and shooting. So, He bought me a pink ‘girl power’ basketball, and we went to the outdoor court at the high school until he taught me properly how to play the game. Then I learned to enjoy it. It’s not about how many times the ball hits the rim. It’s about keeping going until ever shot is nothing but net. God is like that. We have things in our lives that scare and overwhelm us, we try, and we fail again and again until we break down. Then we go to Jesus. (We really should go to Him before the breakdown, but we almost never do.) We tell Jesus our troubles and we cry, then He lifts us up and says, “Let’s try again. Together this time.” Because of that, we are able to go forward and learn what we did wrong the first time. He shows us how to do things. It’s amazing when He opens our minds to understanding. He will teach us, we just have to ask Him.
Be like Daniel
Life gets hard. Sometimes you get sick. Sometimes you’re far from home. Sometimes you’re under a lot of pressure. Sometimes it’s all of the above.
When times get tough, think of Daniel. He was alone in a strange land, with strange customs and ways. In the beginning he had some friends from his land, but it seems like very soon after he was singled out and made to be on his own.
When times were hard he stood firm for God and did not budge.
He continued to pray each day and watched as God moved mountains.
Then when times were good and he was recognized for what God was doing through him. He continued. He continued to put God first and to pray and to trust Him.
Sometimes life is no fun and all you want to do it cry. In those times turn to Jesus. Reach out to Him. There may be a wall to struggle past, but you will get there. And once there you will see His glory as He guides you on this path.
Stay strong in Jesus friends!
Run to the tower
Run to the tower.
Tolkien wrote a lot of novels that were never celebrated, many of which are barely even known about. I have a favorite set called Tales from the perilous realm. Because, of course, all adventures and all fairy tales can be perilous. He writes of two little dogs staying in a tall tower with the man on the moon and the two little dogs venture too far away from home 1 day and end up bothering a large dragon, and the man on the moon has to save them. And as they’re running away from the dragon, they’re running as fast as they can back to the man on the moon’s tower because they know that they are safe within his tower.
God calls himself our strong tower. But in a world where we don’t really have towers anymore, we have condos and high rises, we forget what a tower means. Towers were fortresses, probably made out of Stone or clay brick. They were strong.They were a place the enemy could not get in. Because it was protected by the king’s guard and by the king.
Run to his tower. He is a fortress for when I am weak. A place where I can hide. God is a place of refuge. His loving arms always open to receive us and always strong to protect. So when we travel too far from home and bother the great dragons, run back to the tower, the door will be open and he will protect you.
Carried in the cross 