What is He to you now?

What is He to you now?

Alter call. On your knees, face to the floor, breathing in small bits of grit out of the carpet but so in touch with the Holy Spirit that you don’t even notice. White knuckles as you call out…”God I know I am a sinner, I repent of my sins, please God come into my life and make me yours!”
10 years later.
Where are you? Life is busy, sometimes way too crazy and God’s gentle embrace feels a bit distant.
When we first find God He is our everything; we seek Him, serve Him, share Him and feel Him in us like a wildfire. But life moves on and we have to move too, and between the hectic work days and the constant ‘Christian-ing’ we begin to lose God. Not that He is leaving us but….we may be unintentionally leaving Him.
Sometimes I feel like I trade off a connection with God because I am trying too hard to look like the spiritual warriors I know. I stop praying to God and start praying at God. I stop worshiping and just simply bob to the beat. I stop…seeking God’s face.
After all the years of being with God, what is He to me now?
Recently I noticed that I have been distractedly rushing through my prayer time. I hate that. I know I am busy and it is hard to make time, but it isn’t impossible. I feel like I stopped being Jesus’s friend and started to simply be flippant with Him. Oh big important me that I should slow down for Christ! How dumb. If my God makes the time to sit and talk with me than I should make the time to talk with Him.
Abraham Lincoln once said: ‘it does not matter if God is on my side, it matters if I am on God’s side.’
In the beginning I was always on God’s side, playing on His team, but where am I now? What have I made Him in my life?
The only thing I know to do to fix this dead wood life style is to pour food onto the embers. Then fan it. So Bible reading × 2, praying + extra meditation on God, devotional reading with concentration. Because with God, it only takes a little effort to make your heart hungry once again.
So I ask, what is He to you right now?

Also. If you have never prayed that prayer, asking God into your life, please do so now. He is worth it.
So…
God, I know I am a sinner and fall short of your kingdom. I repent of my sins and ask you to come into my life and help me live a life that is for you. Help to never feel like I am not enough, because you are more than enough for me. In Jesus’ name…amen.